"Officer Dave"

Yesterday morning I left our house to go to the gym & do some shopping; I came to a stop sign at the end of our street & instead of coming to a complete stop I did a "california roll" & proceeded on my way. As I turned right, I saw a cop car driving towards me. I didn't think much about it but I kept an eye on him in my rear view mirror & watched him do a U-turn, flick on his lights & drive up behind me. Crap! I pulled off the road & got out my driver's license & registration. He got out of his car & walked towards me...

Officer Dave: Hello miss, I'm Officer Dave. Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: I did a california stop at the stop sign back there?
Officer Dave: That's right & I should know because I used to live in California.
Me: Me too.
Officer Dave: Really?! Where at?
Me: Red Bluff
Officer Dave: Nice - so where are you headed?
Me: The gym
Officer Dave: Oh yeah, which gym?
Me: Gold's Gym
Officer Dave: Gold's Gym off Cascades Parkway?
Me: Yeah.
Officer Dave: I work out there every morning. I'm usually on the treadmill wearing my Marine Corp. gear. Do you ever go in the mornings?
Me: Not usually.
Officer Dave: Is today a cardio day or a lifting day?
Me: Cardio.
Officer Dave: Nice - well let me have your driver's license & registration (handed it to him) & I'll be right back.
Me: OK.
*1 minute later...
Officer Dave: Well you have a +5 driving record (handing everything back to me) & if I were to give you a ticket that would bring you down to a +2 & I really don't want to do that to you.
Me: Oh...
Officer Dave: How long have you been living on Manning?
Me: Uh...
Officer Dave: Just tell me 30 days. Once you move, you only have 30 days to update your driver's license, so just tell me 30 days.
Me: 30 days.
Officer Dave: OK, good. I'm not going to give you a ticket but only on one condition...
Me: Alright?
Officer Dave: When you see me at the gym, you have to come & say "hi."
Me: Yes, sir.
Officer Dave: Have a good workout & a nice weekend.
Me: (Deep breath) Whew!

After my little encounter I started thinking about the movie "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" & in the beginning of the movie she takes you through "how to get out of a ticket." So here is what I found online:

"The Top 7 Ways To Get Out Of A Ticket" By Brad Iger

7. Be A Comedian. Cops are people too & like other people, they tend to be a little less dickish if the mood of the situation is lightened a bit. So defusing the tension that comes with a confrontation between a cop and who-knows-what with some humor can actually go a long way. Here's one to try, if you have the opportunity to use it:
Cop: I've been waiting for you all day.
Driver: Well, I got here as fast as I could.

6. Lie Like A Rug. It's a good rule of thumb that if you're going to lie to the cops, use a lie that they have no way of proving wrong. It's best in these situations to either play on their sympathies:
"My friend called me from a bar and he sounded like he was going to drive home drunk. I'm going there to pick him up before he tries to leave!"

5. Just The Truth. When the cop pulls you over and asks the obligatory "do you know why I pulled you over?" & it's painfully obvious why he did, playing dumb probably isn't going to win you any points - but being forthright and honest might.

4. Cry. Okay, you've hit rock bottom. You are officially shameless. If you really don't want a ticket and can summon tears upon command, a grown man (or, ever better, a woman) balling uncontrollably at the thought of getting a ticket really has a way of disarming all but the most stern of law enforcement.

3. This Things Busted. If you drive an old beater, the chances that gauges in your car accurately depict what's going on are probably slim. Use that to your advantage.

2. Be A Hot Girl. I dare you to find me a really hot girl who has racked up a massive amount of tickets. I'll let your imagination do the work for the particular methods used in this situation.

1. Show Some Respect. When the cop is asking you questions, look him in the eye and answer the question without fear, but also without arrogance - like you're talking to anyone else. Use the term "officer" & "yes, sir" when you answer him - without a tone of contempt.

Good luck!!